Poetry Lab

The Timings Not RIght

2006-06-28T08:03:00.000-07:00

Lonely nights begging you to be here
Longing for you to tell me you love me
Occasionally having one-way conversations about you with self
Yearning for your tender touch and loving smile
Devastated because the timing's not right.

It's never right. Ten years of mememories
Ten years of 'not now.' Ten years of 'i love you'
Ten years and.....the timing's not right

Seems like life just keeps forcing us apart
Together forever seems reserved for fairy tales
Either I'm the one for you or I'm not
Pleading for you to tell me that I am
Hoping that you will recipricate my love
Even though it's been ten years of 'not now'
Never seems to be what you really mean.

It's never right. Ten years of mememories
Ten years of 'not now.' Ten years of 'i love you'
Ten years and.....the timing's not right

Somehow you've managed to penetrate my soul
Abolish all the fears I held within
Binded every doubt that's ever possessed me
Inside is where I need you to feel me
No man has ever or will ever affected so.
Obviously that doesn't matter because you keep saying
The timing's not right.

Save

2006-04-24T20:47:00.000-07:00

The tears are flowing throughout my body.
The salty water seeps into my mouth because I refuse to wipe them away.
Something seems caught in my throat and I struggle to breath.
Something else seems to be covering my mouth and nose.
I feel smothered.
Suffocated.
I am dying on the inside.
I have nowhere to turn,
no one to talk to,
nothing.
I can't seem to get my life together.
School is pulling me.
Work is pushing me.
My family is supporting, but I don't know if they understand.
My friends dont get it.
Hell, I don't get it.
I am dying on the inside.
I feel smothered.
The tears are flowing throughout my body.

Sister Pains

2006-02-13T22:08:00.000-08:00

My heart is aching
aching because of the pain you are causing
causing me to contemplate our friendship
a friendship that is supposed to last a lifetime
a lifetime of memories that are just going down the drain
draining me of all happiness
happiness that I used to share with you
you of all people should understand
understand that i am going through something
something that you seem to totally disregard
disregard how i am feeling to appease another
another moment of these sister pains and i will have no choice to walk away
walk away from the love, the memories,
walk away from you

Second Time Around

2006-01-12T21:58:00.000-08:00

I used to be his everything: his hunny, his best friend, his Miss Pretty Lady.
My world revolved around him: his smile, his arms, his touch.
It was all about us: our plans, our happiness, our 'us.'
Him, Me, Together, Forever.

Then something went terribly wrong: the lies, the cheating, the broken hearts.
We tried to forgive: for the hoe, for the athlete, for youth.
It was about me. It was about him. No us. No our.
Him? Me? Together? Never.

Now we're starting over: laughing, dating, conversing.
We listen intently to these new people: his stories, her philosophies, their hearts.
We try to decifer where this is going: games, love, keeps?
Him? Me? Together? Forever?

Somehow, times have changed: a lifetime of growth, an era of honesty, an eternity of
us.
We compliment each other: his sun to my moon, my yin to his yang, my pink to
his green.
It is all about us: our communication, our loyalty, our us.
USTOGETHERFOREVER

For seconds
For keeps
For love
For us.

Originally Sept. 21, 2005

Wasted Time

2006-01-12T21:43:00.000-08:00

I remember first shyly averting his eyes
Afraid to be pulled into the lies
I tried to play the role of a tease
But he glided into my heart with ease
My body fought him for two long years
Then he brought my soul to tears
The effect he had on me seemed unreal
There was nothing left to conceal
I let him explore every part of me
Sending my mind and body into ectasy
His body my temporary fix
All because I fell for his tricks
I'm trying desperately to let go
But my body keeps screaming no
I wish I could get back that wasted time
I guess thats what happens when dealing with slime

Beautiful and Black

2005-12-12T13:31:00.000-08:00

Beautiful black race, men women boys girls
Beautiful black people, tenacious astute regal elegant
Beautiful black race, kings queens presidents ambassadors
Beautiful black people, my people your people our people God's people
Beautiful black women, creme latte mocha coffee
Beautiful black women, perms fros braids locks
Beautiful black women, curby voluptuous sknny straight
Beautiful black women, strong independent intelligent loving
Beautiful black men, tall dark handsome beautiful
Beautiful black men, husbands brothers fathers sons
Beautiful black men, leaders supporters lovers warriors
Beautiful black men, encouraging firm noble faithful
Beautiful black girls, tall skinny geeky preppy
Beautiful black girls, happy excited prissy boyish
Beautiful black girls, innocent arrogant friendly goofy
Beautiful black girls, frilly dresses pony tails pig tails heels
Beautiful black boys, stocky shirt fair dark
Beautiful black boys, energetic challenging smart curious
Beautiful black boys, braided back pants sagging loose Tims tall tees
Beautiful black boys, focused talkative reserved growing
Beautiful black race, men women boys girls
Beautiful black people, tenacious astute regal elegant
Beautiful black race, kings queens presidents ambassadors
Beautiful black people, my people your people our people God's people

Backwards

2005-12-12T13:29:00.000-08:00

I keep going back,

back to his arms, to his chest, to his presence.

I keep going back, pretending to be loved, to be wanted, to be his.

I keep letting him into my heart, my mind, my body.

I keep letting him poke me, leave me, hurt me.

I don't understand what it is that keeps me going back.

Yes, there is stimulating conversation;

Yes, there are loads of excitement;

Yes, the sex is incredible, supersexual.

But are these things enough to keep me by his side?

By his side though he doesn't give a damn?

By his side though he is merely using me?

By his side though he calls her his woman?

Of course not, but I keep going back

Back to his presence, his embrace, his bed.

I keep letting him stimulate my mind, arouse my body, and leave me empty.

All just to complain, to cry, to go back.

Imjustired

2005-11-19T10:43:00.000-08:00

im just tired
leave me alone
let me be
go away
NOW
no i dont have an answer
yes i have a attitude
maybe we will talk about it later
just go
ASAP
im just tired

He

2005-11-14T16:16:00.000-08:00

Intrigued my mind, piqued my curiousity, exalted my intelligence and had my heart
Caressed my back, massaged my temple and had my heart
Kissed my lip, licked my earlobes, tasted my sweetness and had my heart
Discredited my opinion, weakened my self-esteem, thinned my hair, and had my heart.
Captivated me Weakened me Deceived me Broke me and He
He
Left
Me
And he
Still has my heart

UNTITLED

2005-11-09T22:09:00.000-08:00

It's a bunch of bullshit trying to figure out where you fit
In this puzzle of llife, the source of my strife.
Yet, I love you anyway, despite what they day
All day thoughts of you, need to be in a pew, praying to God for peace, praying that this love will cease.
Can't go on like this, can't live in this abysss.
It's a bunch of bullshit trying to figure out where you fit.
You don't give a damn, just wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am.
"Enjoyed you while it lasted." Too bad I can't say I was blasted.
Sorry I let myself get this bad; strongest love I ever had.
Too bad my love is wasted, prollly cause I let you taste it.
Hell yeah, I'm pissed off. Wanna slap you in yo mouth
Played with my feelings, had me high as the ceiling
Two times I let you get to me, still struggling to set you free.
What goes around comes around. Wish I could have you tied and bound
Fuck you up real bad, so bad they gone think I'm mad.
This is a bunch of bullshit, trying to figure out where you fit.

I want him

2005-11-09T19:00:00.000-08:00

i want to kiss him, to hold him
to tell him, to ask him
to love him, to hate him
to laugh with him
to cry for him
i want him
him to kss me, to hold me
him to tell me he loves me
him to be there for me
i want him out of brain
dreams of him out of my heart
prints from him off my body
i want him
gone

Best Friend Memories

2005-10-30T19:24:00.000-08:00

Remember being 12 years old?
Remember thinking it was AEO?
Remember when Kesha was our friend?
Remember fingerwaves were the trend?
Remember trading our grease photos?
Remember I never had any clothes?
If you remember these things so,
Circle one.....yes or no.
Remember always sitting in the wicker chair?
Remember Kristie doing your hair?
Remember when folding letters was an art?
Remember we thought we were so smart?
Remember I almost burned the house down? (TWICE)
Remember eating the shrimp at Boomtown?
I remember all this and more.
The memories that help us soar,
On to greater heights we go,
"Crossing bridges" and "letting it flow."
Thanks for being there through good and bad.
Thanks for being the sister I never had.

Beyond the Wall

2005-10-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

My journey began as I stumbled unto hollow grounds.
I had no idea I would leap hills and mounds.
I was not prepared for the test,
But I secretly observed the best.

I humbly admired the finesse and confidence,
The intellect and beauty I reverenced.
I knew I had to be on a mission,
Had to fulfill Ethel's vision.

Sunday, my body filled with excitement.
Nervous tension shadowed my contentment.
The Ivy Leaf Club no longer sufficed;
I had to have the pink ice.

Now I sit pretty in pink and gorgeous in green,
The sexiest and classiest on the scene.
Sixty-one sands to share my success;
180,000 pearls that no one can contest.